Suck My Dick, New Yorker Caption Contest

Every week, the New Yorker has a caption contest. Every week, it would be way funnier if they just talked about sucking dick. By Nate Heller & Emily Heller.

WE KNOW IT'S STUPID BUT THANKS FOR TELLING US SO ANYWAY.

Not Affiliated with Conde Nast or The New Yorker.
"I wish I could suck my own dick."

"I wish I could suck my own dick."

"Will one of you ask the Wizard for a new leg for me and also a big ol dick to suck on?"

"Will one of you ask the Wizard for a new leg for me and also a big ol dick to suck on?"

"Nothing to do now except suck my dick."

"Nothing to do now except suck my dick."

"Hey! Hey youse guys! Get back here and suck my dick!"

"Hey! Hey youse guys! Get back here and suck my dick!"

"Hey, when we get down from here, want me to suck your dick?"

"Hey, when we get down from here, want me to suck your dick?"

"Remember that Jamiroquai video for Virtual Insanity?  That was so cool!  I think that’s the main reason I felt compelled to suck his dick."

"Remember that Jamiroquai video for Virtual Insanity?  That was so cool!  I think that’s the main reason I felt compelled to suck his dick."

Last week’s winning caption from thereajostu:
"When you said you felt cagey about sucking dick, I thought you meant it literally."

Last week’s winning caption from thereajostu:


"When you said you felt cagey about sucking dick, I thought you meant it literally."

"Hey, when we get out of here, want to suck each other’s dicks?"

"Hey, when we get out of here, want to suck each other’s dicks?"

"You’re mad that you’re not getting your dick sucked right now when there’s so many other things to be mad about."

"You’re mad that you’re not getting your dick sucked right now when there’s so many other things to be mad about."

Last week’s winning caption from Barry Young:
“I want the government to see all the dick I suck.”

Last week’s winning caption from Barry Young:

I want the government to see all the dick I suck.”