Suck My Dick, New Yorker Caption Contest

Every week, the New Yorker has a caption contest. Every week, it would be way funnier if they just talked about sucking dick. By Nate Heller & Emily Heller.

WE KNOW IT'S STUPID BUT THANKS FOR TELLING US SO ANYWAY.

Not Affiliated with Conde Nast or The New Yorker.
"It says here that I should suck your dick for a more thorough clean."

"It says here that I should suck your dick for a more thorough clean."

Last Week’s winning caption from iammadeofiam:
"Get out of that tub, so I can suck your dick."

Last Week’s winning caption from iammadeofiam:

"Get out of that tub, so I can suck your dick."

"I’m taking a bath so I’ll be clean when I suck your dick."

"I’m taking a bath so I’ll be clean when I suck your dick."

"Wanna suck my dick in the bath?"

"Wanna suck my dick in the bath?"

"I know you don’t believe me, but I’m telling you I can suck my own dick and I’ve brought the photos to prove it."

"I know you don’t believe me, but I’m telling you I can suck my own dick and I’ve brought the photos to prove it."

"When I’m done with this paperwork, you wanna suck my dick?"

"When I’m done with this paperwork, you wanna suck my dick?"

Last week’s winning caption from diffint. Two in a row!

"I sucked that barista’s dick one time."

"I sucked that barista’s dick one time."

"Whose dick do you gotta suck to get a table in this place?"

"Whose dick do you gotta suck to get a table in this place?"