Suck My Dick, New Yorker Caption Contest

Every week, the New Yorker has a caption contest. Every week, it would be way funnier if they just talked about sucking dick. By Nate Heller & Emily Heller.

WE KNOW IT'S STUPID BUT THANKS FOR TELLING US SO ANYWAY.

Not Affiliated with Conde Nast or The New Yorker.
"God I love baseball!! It’s as American as sucking a big ol dick."

"God I love baseball!! It’s as American as sucking a big ol dick."

"Sometimes trains get sad because they have no mouths with which to suck dick."

"Sometimes trains get sad because they have no mouths with which to suck dick."

"They don’t care about our cabooses. They want to suck my dick."

"They don’t care about our cabooses. They want to suck my dick."

"Well boys, let’s go out there and suck some dicks!"

"Well boys, let’s go out there and suck some dicks!"

"Wanna come down to the bar and get your dick sucked?"

"Wanna come down to the bar and get your dick sucked?"

"I like chicken.  I like liver.  Come over and I will suck your dick."

"I like chicken.  I like liver.  Come over and I will suck your dick."

"This reminds me, I sucked three big peckers yesterday while you were bowling."

"This reminds me, I sucked three big peckers yesterday while you were bowling."

"You cool with a giant cat watching you suck my dick?"

"You cool with a giant cat watching you suck my dick?"

"Speaking of big old fatties, let me suck that dick"

"Speaking of big old fatties, let me suck that dick"

"I wish I could suck my own dick."

"I wish I could suck my own dick."