“It’s not so bad being stuck on this island - plenty of time to grow a sweet beard, all the coconuts you can eat, and endless hours spent trying to convince you that sucking my dick will finally make you stop missing your wife…”
“This is me. I’m Ted. Someone here please suck my dick. I am really good at PowerPoint.”
“Today’s TED talk will focus on the moral implications of creating a clone of one’s self for the explicit purpose of sucking dick.”
“You guys know you could be getting your dicks sucked right now, yeah?”
“The real horses are all getting their dicks sucked today.”
“You might have to undo 8 zippers to get there, but if this plane crashes you are SO sucking my dick.”
“If you’re so special, let’s see you stay in your predetermined seat area while a trained monkey sucks your dick inside your suitcase-shirt!”
“My plan is simple: Corner the world’s market on cigarettes and martinis, and then travel through time, getting people to suck my dick for them.”
“And this one I got by sucking Cheney’s Dick.”
“The missing link between him and us is me sucking his dick”
